Final Fantasy: Go Fish!
by KeokiFirebird
Summary: Some of our fav. character from Final Fantasies enjoy themselves at a decent card game. Review please! Thanx
1. The Bad Guys

Since I'm constantly updating my Final Fantasy VII: Life After Meteor, which is my sequel to the game, I have been writing an assortment of humor fics because most of my other emotions are poured into that other story. So hope ya Enjoy  
  
Everything Final Fantasy is not mine, though I wish it was, or at least wish that Tifa was alive and with me.::recomposes himself:: I mean Squaresoft owns everything, and everyone. ::looks around suspiciously:: Squaresoft is watching you!.  
  
Oh and little bashing occurs, but do not think for one minute that I do not like any characters from any final fantasy. well there is a few a very small few, but I don't bash on any of them in this story.  
  
  
  
  
  
The room was dark, and there was only one light. A single table was positioned in the center under the light. Four men were sitting down and playing cards. Sweat beads poured down from their forehead. The pressure of the card game started to get them. Anxiety surged through their veins.  
  
Sephiroth: Hey Seymore! ::Sephiroth called out to him::  
  
Seymour: Hmm, it appears that your pronunciation of my name is incorrect. It is pronounced Seym.  
  
Seifer: Shut up pansy!  
  
Sephiroth: Do you have a two? ::Sephiroth leans in closer, anxious to find if he pulled out another card from his hand::  
  
Seymour: Go Fish!  
  
Sephiroth: ::the gleam in his eye faded into nothing:: I was sure that time! ::he pulls a card from the deck and places it into his hand.  
  
Kuja: Read them and weap, for I have ventured across to find the winning hand so I can prevail over the rest of you. Full House ::He fans out his cards on the table::  
  
Seifer: ::memorizes Kuja's cards:: Dumbass  
  
Sephiroth: ::slaps his hand on his forehead::  
  
Seymour: It is not understandable that you can not realize that you are playing under different rules, none the less the rules you are playing under are from the game called.  
  
Seifer: Shut up! ::he smacks Seymour in the arm::  
  
Sephiroth: Don't you know were not playing poker Kuja! Anyway, go fish ::Sephiroth pulls a card of the top of the deck, and frisbee tosses it to Kuja's face.::  
  
Seifer: ::he looks at Kuja and grabs the card at the far end of his deck:: Thank you! ::he places his matching cards face up so that everyone could see he got it right.::  
  
Seymour: I understand that we are all in the same watercraft.  
  
Seifer: Can't you just say we're in the same boat! ::backhands Seymour::  
  
Sephiroth: ::smiles:: I would have killed that Cloud! ::he thinks and then remembers he did:: I would have killed him again!  
  
Seifer: Do you know what it is to have to go on a mission with a brown- haired puberty boy, and a chicken wuss? Here I am running through the city of Dollet, and I'm beating back the army that invaded single-handedly! Then in comes these two pansies prancing around holding up in the air a rulebook of war or something. I almost had that stupid army running away screaming ::he imitates a voice of a woman:: "Oh no its Seifer, run! No one can stop Seifer, OH! Sefer the great! Seifer THE POWERFUL!!!" ::is standing on his chair::  
  
Sephiroth: ::grabs Seifer's shoulder ands sits him down:: Do you have a seven?  
  
Seifer: ::leans into his hand, practically covering his face with his cards, he then looks up at Sephiroth:: How did you know? ::he tosses his card out of his hand::  
  
Sephiroth: ::takes the card and puts it down with the matching one:: What about you Seymore?  
  
Seymour: I see you misprounouced it aga.  
  
Seifer: ::smacks him:: Shut up!  
  
Seymour: ::recomposes himself:: It is spelled S.E.Y.M  
  
Seifer: ::smacks Seymour in the back of the head: Hey! Shut up!  
  
Seymour: ::starts to tear up:: Do you have a three Sephiroth?  
  
Sephiroth: Go Fish!  
  
Kuja: Do unto others, as you want them to do unto you.  
  
Everyone looks at Kuja, and Kuja blinks at them, then they all looks back at their hands. They skip Kuja's turn  
  
Sephiroth: I really can't understand what those two girls see in Cloud. I mean the guy is demented, he's practically banging his head on the wall. Why doesn't Aeris like me? Tifa even, well whatever.  
  
Seifer: Are you jealous mama's boy? ::looks at Sephiroths hand::  
  
Sephiroth: ::jumps in the air, suddenly a single wing pops out from his back:: Do not insult the soon to be immortal.  
  
Seifer: ::pulls out his gunblade and smacks Sephiroth in the back of the head, causing him to fall down:: So umm. do you have a king?  
  
Sephiroth: ::looks down as the wing disappears:: Damn! Hey wait did you skip my turn?  
  
Seifer: ::innocently:: No I did not.  
  
Kuja: Once upon a midnight dreary. While I ponder weak and weary, over many quaint and curious volumes of forgotten lore. While I nodded nearly napping, suddenly their came a tapping, as if someone gently rapping at my chamber door. Only tis and nothing more  
  
They all look at Kuja, and Kuja blinks twice. Then they all look at their hands.  
  
Sephiroth: Here ::gives the king to Seifer::  
  
Seifer: Alright all I have is two more cards to go!!!  
  
Seymour: Seifer do you have a jack?  
  
Seifer: ::looks at Seymour and takes his jack:: Yes I do, thanks. ::sets down his new match  
  
Seymour: I do not believe that you are playing fair, I think that you should.  
  
Seifer: Shut up Seymore!!! ::smacks him::  
  
Seymour: ::tears up:: Can you at least pronounce my name, it is S.E.Y.M  
  
Sephiroth: So Kuja do you have a ten?  
  
Kuja: ::looks down and back up:: I have twenty-one, I have prevailed at black jack once again!  
  
Everyone looks at Kuja.  
  
Seymour: I see that once again you are playing under the rules of another  
  
Seifer: ::slashes the legs of Seymours seat with his gunblade::  
  
Seymour: ::falls down on the ground with his seat:: I do not understand why you did that Seifer.  
  
Seifer: so? ::looks down at Seymour's hand::  
  
Sephiroth: You know Seifer, they don't make bad guys like us anymore. I mean seriously  
  
Suddenly Kefka walks in.  
  
Kefka: ::looks at everyone:: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ::runs out screaming like a girl.  
  
Sephiroth: You see! Kefka was a good bad guy ::thinks for a second:: Cool I said an oxymoron.  
  
Seifer: I think you're a moron.  
  
Sephiroth: ::jumps in air, and the wing pops out of his back again:: You will die mortal!!!  
  
Seifer: ::jumps up on the table:: Bring it on pansy  
  
Seymour: ::stands up:: I think we should all sit down and attempt to get along. We are all just.  
  
Sephiroth and Seifer: SHUT UP SEYMORE!!!  
  
Seymour: S.E.Y.M.  
  
Sephiroth and Seifer: ::jump on top of Seymour and start beating him up::  
  
Kuja: I did not sleep with Monica.  
  
Everyone stops and looks at Kuja. He blinks at them, and then they continue to fight.  
  
Suddenly in comes Cloud and Squall.  
  
Cloud: Yeah that Tidus guy is sure a wuss!  
  
Squall: Seriously they don't make good guys like us, did you take a look at that Zidane character.  
  
The bad guys stop fighting, and look at Cloud and Squall.  
  
Kuja: To be or not be! That is the question!  
  
Everyone looks at Kuja.  
  
Cloud: Ok then. I think I'll wait till this game is over ::runs out the door::  
  
Sephiroth: Come back here CLOUD!!! Die at the blad of my MASAMUNE!!!::runs after Cloud:;  
  
Squall: Beating up on people as usual Seifer?  
  
Seifer: Yup!  
  
Squall: So what ya doing later?  
  
Seymour: I am assuming that we will not contiue this game.  
  
Squall: Whats wrong with Seymore?  
  
Seymour: It is spell S.E.Y.M  
  
Seifer: Oh look!  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Seifer: ::pulls out a card from Seymour's hand:: I WIN!!!  
  
Squall: ..You cheated.  
  
Seifer: SHUT UP PANSY!!!  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Seifer: ::aims his palm at Squall:: Take this ::Fire forms around Seifers hand::  
  
Squall: Oh not this again...  
  
To be continued. 


	2. The Good Guys

Well I Finished my Life After Meteor story, and I'm working on the sequel plus a few other stories, that aren't uploaded(including the sequel) But I am uploading a Kingdom Hearts story. I figured I was in the mood to write another chapter, even though I'm getting no reviews for this story, I'm still up to giving it a second shot. Oh well. I hope you all enjoy, check out my other stories, remember, you review, I usually read your stories too. Why? Well simple you reviewed, and I feel it's only fair. Well then ::salutes:: Take Care guys.  
  
Hours must have passed since the last game played, perhaps even days. No one is sure, but the only thing they know, is they are playing the most challenging mini-game ever know to their entire lives. As sweat pours from their heads, the reunion of those good, are giving a shot to outsmart each other in a clever game of Go Fish!  
  
Cloud: ::whips a bang off of his face:: Hmmm. ::looking to Locke:: Do you have a king?  
  
Locke: ::laughs:: Yea cause I'll give in to you.  
  
Cloud: Well if you have it, your supposed to. Do you or not? ::Beginning to feel frustrated he recomposes himself, and sits back::  
  
Squall: ::laughing:: Can you play already? ::recompes the humor in his head:: or else you'll be, as dumb as, Tidus over here.  
  
Tidus: ::stands up infuriated:: Who you're calling dumb?  
  
Squall: ::smirks:: You?  
  
Zidane: ::shankes his head, and digs his face into his hand of cards to predict his next move::  
  
Cloud: ::watches intently::  
  
Locke: ::stands up:: Now, now ::gestures for them to calm down:: Can't we all just get along?  
  
Suddenly from the background, outside of the room, the group could only hear a single voice chanting something in the background.  
  
Voice: She's a brick! House! ::begins to hum the rest, because probably doesn't know the remainder of the song besides that line::  
  
Zidane: ::looks up:: I think I know who that is.  
  
Everyone: ::looks to Zidane in wonder::  
  
Zidane: ::walks up to the door:: Hmm. ::looks through the keyhole:: Yup. Its Kuja. That's bad guys.  
  
Cloud: Let me guess, ::laughs for a second about the comment that's bad guys, it goes two ways:: Anyways, let me guess ::he pauses::  
  
Squall: Can you just say it already?  
  
Cloud: Calm down before you get your panties in a knot.  
  
Tidus: ::laughs:: You have panties! HA ha ha ha HA ha!  
  
Squall: Whatever. At least I'm not a fruit who whines about everything.  
  
Locke: ::sits back down, and wonders when they'll actually continue the game::  
  
Zidane: There's Sephiroth ::he continues looking through the keyhole.  
  
Cloud: ::his eyes widen: What!! Oh no! ::runs to the nearest corner, and begins to rock back and forth:: I will not go to the reunion, I will not go to the reunion. I control my own will.  
  
Everyone watches Cloud, and begins to feel disturbed by his presence.  
  
Squall: Hey monkey boy! Anybody else out there?  
  
Zidane: First of all. ::turns around:: Don't call me monkey boy, second of all your just jealous. Third of all yea, just about all the bad guys.  
  
Locke: ::laughs:: Hmm I wonder how much one of those tails would sell for ::thoughts of snatching Zidane's tail flooded his mind:: Heh.  
  
Zidane: ::turns to Locke:: What?  
  
Locke: Oh nothing!  
  
Suddenly the door burst open, and a man in paladin armor runs through and shuts the door.  
  
Cecil: He's after me!  
  
Everyone looks at the blonde newcomer.  
  
Cecil: ::turns to them:: Why are all of you looking at me like that?  
  
Tidus: Who the heck are you? Cecil: ::anger boils in his stomach:: You don't know who I am. I am one of the first heroes. You were just an itch your fathers dream crotch when I was saving the world.  
  
Squall: ::smirks:: Great another one of those.  
  
Cecil: What do you mean by that?  
  
Locke: Hey Cecil.  
  
Cecil: ::recognizes Locke:: Hey! Long time no see.  
  
Suddenly the door begins to bang violently.  
  
Cecil: ::turns around:: He's here.  
  
Zidane: Oh yea! Everyone was outside.  
  
Cecil: It's horrible, they got a hold of Butz  
  
Everyone: Who?  
  
Cecil: Nevermind that, they got a hold of him, and did awful things to him. Something to do with his name.  
  
Everyone: ::shudders run up their spines.  
  
Cecil: They were after me, but I got away.  
  
Squall: Great! So you lured them over to this room.  
  
Tidus: Don't worry everyone ::jumps up confidently:: I'll save us! I am the newer hero you know.  
  
Cloud: ::rocks back and forth::  
  
Cecil: ::points to Cloud:: What's wrong with him?  
  
Squall: Don't worry about him, he'll be fine in about five minutes. ::turns to Tidus:: Alright, go save us then hero.  
  
Tidus: I think I will ::walks to the door:: Be back before you can spell Blitzball! ::walks out the door  
  
Locke: B  
  
Tidus: ::screams in agony outside of the room:: OW!! STOP!!::the sounds of punches making contact with flesh echoed into the room:: HELP!! NO!!!  
  
Locke: L  
  
Tidus: NO!! NOT THE GUNBLADE!!!!! HHEEELLPP!!! ::shrieks like a little girl::  
  
Locke: I  
  
Squall: ::laughs::  
  
Cloud: Hey guys!  
  
Zidane: Welcome back  
  
Locke: T  
  
Cloud: what is Locke doing? ::looks around:: Where's Tidus?  
  
Squall: ::places a finger over his lips gesturing to be quiet::  
  
Locke: Z ::pauses:: no wait S ::shrugs:: Whatever, Z/S!  
  
Tidus: NOOO please Sephiroth!!! Don't use the Masamune!!! AAAAHHH WHAT DID YOU DOO TO BUTZ!!!!! HELLPPP!!!  
  
Cloud: ::chuckles::  
  
Squall: He wanted to be hero so we let him. Or at least I did. ::laughs:: Loser.  
  
Locke: B  
  
Tidus: Kefka don't do that!!! NOT THERE!! AAAHHA STOP LAUGHING LIKE THAT!!!  
  
Locke: A  
  
Suddenly the door burst open with Tidus flying into the ground and rolling to Squall, but comes to a stop before he messes Squalls boots.  
  
Tidus: ::is bruised, and bleeding, ravaged, and clothing is nearly completely ripped. The sound of snapping bones echoed in the room as Tidus shuddered in pain.::  
  
Locke: Go figure!  
  
Cecil: What? Locke: The bastard was right! He did make it back before I could spell Blitz/sball.  
  
Cloud: ::laughs, but stops as he could hear a voice::  
  
Voice: And I saw her face! Now I'm a believe! Not a trace! Of doubt in my mind! I'm in LOVE! OOOOOOOOOOO! I'm a believer, I wouldn't leave her if I tried!  
  
Cloud: There goes Kuja again. That guy has problems.  
  
Squall: Look who's talking.  
  
Cloud: Huh? ::looks at Squall::  
  
Suddenly the bad guys file into the room.  
  
Sephiroth: It is time we settle our score.  
  
Seymour: I do believe that I must show you that the powers of Yu Yevon must not be mocked.  
  
Seifer: Whatever, I'm just gonna whip your ass puberty boy.  
  
Kuja: Oops I did it again! I played with your heart!  
  
Seifer: Great! Why are you singing!?!  
  
Kuja: ::blinks three times::  
  
Kefka: ::rounds around the entire group laughing:: I will destroy everything! EVERYTHING!!!MUHAHAHAHA!!! ME ME ME!!! I AM KEFKA!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Cloud and Squall look at each other and in chorus say "Great"  
  
Cecil: Uh oh! ::notices that Golbez isn't around:: Well I guess I'm lucky then. ::begins to walk out of the room, but Sephiroth stops him::  
  
Sephiroth: Where do you think your going? You will all die by the blade of my Masamune  
  
What will the good guys do? Can they stop the bad guys? Or will the bad guys finally succeed.? Find out at the Same channel, Same time, Same show  
  
Final Fantasy: Go Fish! ::gets smacked by Tifa::  
  
Tifa: Shut up Keoki!  
  
Keoki: Sorry sweetie.  
  
Tifa: You wish you can call me sweetie.  
  
Keoki: ::looks down at the floor sad:: Your right.  
  
  
  
Authors Notes:  
  
Well I hope you enjoy this new chapter of Go Fish! Obviously there is going to be another chapter. Well check out my other stories if you want. But PLEASE REVIEW! Well then till next time ::salutes:: Love ya guys 


	3. The Conclusion

Hi again! I'm back for another round. This is the last chapter, so please review. I might do a bonus chapter, but its just a spin off chapter. Well I'm here busy as usual. Life After Meteor sequel is coming next week. Well I'll stop boring you.  
  
Disclaimer: I said the disclaimer already, but just in case. Nothing is mine. So HA!  
  
Cecil: ::backs away a few steps, and ducks under the card table::  
  
Squall: ::pulls out his gunblade, and rests it on his shoulder:: Fine then.  
  
Cloud: ::pulls out his buster sword:: C'mon Sephiroth! Not like I haven't killed you before.  
  
Sephiroth: ::jaw drops:: I died!?!  
  
Cloud: ::smirks::  
  
Sephiroth: ::turns to his villain friends:: I died?  
  
Villains: ::look around whistling::  
  
Sephiroth: What do you mean I died? ::shouts out::  
  
Locke: Looks like I win this game guys! ::was playing behind everyone's back::  
  
Seifer: Lets duel at cards next. I won against them.  
  
Seymour: You did not win fairly Seifer, I believe that a rematch is in order.  
  
Seifer: Shut up Seemore! ::smack Seymour across the forehead::  
  
Seymour: It appears that you have mispronounced my-  
  
Seifer: Shut up! ::hits him in the back of the head with the hilt of the gunblade::  
  
Seymour: ::falls to floor with a yelp, that sound quite like a school girl crying::  
  
Sephiroth: Now the really good bad guys will take you all on! ::pauses to recognize the oxy-moron::  
  
Seifer: You're a moron!  
  
Sephiroth: I didn't say anything!  
  
Seifer: I know what your thinking!  
  
Kuja: Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz a bear, Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzz wuzn't fuzzy wuzz he?  
  
Everyone: ::looks at Kefka::  
  
Kuja: ::blinks twice::  
  
Tidus: ::rolls to his back:: We are the good guys! And we'll ::three bones break:: AHHH!!!  
  
Zidane: ::kicks him:: Shut up! Anyways, We'll kick your ass anytime.  
  
Cloud, and Squall glance at each other nearly laughing at their new "hero"  
  
Cloud and Squall: ::puts arms around each other shoulders:: And they say that a hero could save us! I'm not gonna stand here and wait! I'll-  
  
Chad Kroegor: ::walks in:: Hey! You didn't give a disclaimer on my song you mother-  
  
Keoki: ::stumbles in before Chad turns this into a Pg-13 fic:: I do not own anything!!! I repeat!!! I do not own Hero!!! ::stumbles his way out::  
  
Chad Kroegor: ::snaps his finger:: Thought I had a sure way to make some money there. ::walks out of the room, and joins the rest of his band in another go fish game::  
  
Cloud and Squall: ::shrug to each other::  
  
Zidane: Hey don't make fun of me man!  
  
Squall: At least you can call us men. What are you monkey boy?  
  
Zidane: I'm not a monkey!  
  
Kefka: ::runs in:: MUHAHAHAHAH!!! ::dangles a banana in the air::  
  
Zidane: ::jumps towards Kefka:: Gimme!  
  
Kefka: ::runs out:: Asante Sana Squish Banana!!! Asante Sana Squish Banana!!!  
  
Zidane: You better not!!!::chases after Kefka out of the room::  
  
Rafiki: Hey! That's my song! I should call Simba to show you a thing or too!  
  
Keoki: ::walks in shaking his head:: This is never going to end ::mutters under breath, and smiles:: I repeat I own nothing! Kefka just sang Rafiki's song in the Lion King. I repeat not mine ::walks out making stabbing gestures into his own chest:: Rafiki: ::walks out joining Timon and Pumba in another game::  
  
Locke: I'm noticing something.  
  
Cloud: What? ::turning to Locke::  
  
Locke: You look a lot like me.  
  
Cloud: Ha! You look a lot like me!  
  
Locke: I came before you bud.  
  
Cloud: Well I had CG first!  
  
Locke: Well I was on SNES!  
  
Cloud: Well I was on PSX!!!  
  
Locke: So was I!  
  
Cloud: ::looks down trying to think:: Well I'm blonde and blue-eyed so whatever!  
  
Locke: ::looks at him:: You're an idiot too.  
  
Squall: ::chuckles:: Now wait a second, this isn't a fight. Zidane is off chasing a banana-wielding Kefka, Tidus is just as useful as he ever was, but none the less broken to pieces, and Cecil is a wimp.  
  
Cecil: I am not! My mommy always told me "Turn around and run away, and live to fight another day"  
  
Squall: Yeah, in your case never.  
  
Locke: Now wait a second Leon.  
  
Squall: Squall  
  
Locke: Whatever, He saved the world while you were just an itch-  
  
Squall: In my dad's crotch, yea yea yea, I heard already.  
  
Locke: Give your elders some respect.  
  
Cecil: Yea! ::ponders for a second:: I'm not old?  
  
Celes: Don't forget about our date Locke ::she walks past the good bad guys::  
  
Seifer: You're a moron!  
  
Celes: I didn't think anything.  
  
Seifer: You were about to!::hates the word Oxy-Moron:: I'm a moron! I mean ::twiddles thumbs:: Whatever!!! Come fight wussy boy!  
  
Kuja: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.  
  
Everyone looks at him.  
  
Kuja: ::blinks:: Well I had an extrodinary time with you gentlemen, I must join my mother for tea and crumpets. As the good and old used to say, and that, is that. ::begins to walk away:: I have almost forgotten I have a game of tennis with the gents at the country club. ::leaves::  
  
Cloud: ::doesn't know what to say::  
  
Seifer: ::turns to Sephiroth:: And I thought he was just an idiot, but now I know he's a smart ass.  
  
The fight is now left to Seifer and Sephiroth versus, Cloud and Squall  
  
Locke: Later guys, I'm passing by the motel on 67th. ::walks out with Celes around his arm:: So did I tell you about the time.  
  
Cloud: ::coming to a conclusion:: Why don't we just play go fish, and forget that all this occurred?  
  
Sephiroth: ::paces back and forth:: I get the seat on the end?  
  
Cloud: Sure ::everyone sits on an end anyway::  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Seifer: Great! I get to kick all your asses again.  
  
The four of them begin to play a safe and innocent game of Go fish. Well I guess not safe, and now that I think about it, not innocent either, but whatever  
  
Squall: That's my word.  
  
I mean but I sure.  
  
Seifer: Shut up mommas boy!!! Sephiroth: Foolish mortal!!!  
  
Keoki: ::slaps hand on forehead:: Not again. I'm never working with this group.  
  
Tifa: Well are we going of too the movies or not?  
  
Keoki: Yes swee- err I mean Tifa.  
  
Tifa: Byies ::waves to reader::  
  
Keoki: Take Care guys ::waves to reader:: Wave back!!! ::waits for you to wave back::  
  
::They both turn and walk away::  
  
Tifa: so how about we watch the Blob!  
  
Keoki: Fine, but I'm sure I'm gonna feel the same way about it as Cloud. 


End file.
